Vending Machine!

HERES HOW IT WORKS:

I say
I insert something in to the vending machine (could be 1 peso, could be something else ). Then the poster below me tells me what comes out, and puts something in themselves, e.g:

I insert 1 peso

You get an mp3 player with 1mb capacity!
I insert someones nostril

You get advise on what to and what not to eat.
I insert a credit card

etc. etc. Understood? OK, I'll start!

I insert the President of the Philippines...

i don't really get how it works but i'll give it a shot....

this is what you get: nothing

seriously i don't how it works... i may have a weak brain

example:

poster number 1:

i insert a memory card...

poster number 2 replies:

you get a cassette player!
i insert a banana...

poster number 3 replies:

you get a fruiit punch!
I insert a grenade...

poster number 4 will decide what comes out, and he will insert something again... Alright?

Let's try again:
I insert a tissue paper...

you get a towel
i insert my simcard...

you get a chainsaw...
i insert a person....

you get a baby?

i insert a fork?

you get a porkchop

i inert my mp4

you get an ipod!

i insert a mouse?

you get a cheese...

i insert a internet cord

you get a PSP
I insert a PS3

i don't get the point though

i think the point is just to pass the time

you get ps1 hahahaha
i insert a quadcore

what ish that? >//<

u'll get chocolates
i inserted this emoticon >>

you get nothing...

i insert my meralco bill

you get lots of cash
I insert a dog

you get a cat

i insert this

u'll have this >>

i inserted a keyboard :3

you get a CPU

I insert a cellphone

you get a warrant of arrest!
I insert Michael Jackson...

you get Billy Jean
I insert a 1-peso coin

you get 50 cents

i insert a lens

I get a camera

I insert a tupperware

you'll receive a fork..

i inserted a picture

i get Gackt-sama! (ya~ta!!)

i insert nata de coco... ?

U got a dozen of coconuts!

I inserted a stolen jewelry...

i get a police guard



i insert hyde!!! (even though its hard to let him go.. )